As you know there are no perfect marriages. At times, most couples may benefit from marital therapy. The following are just some of the top reasons couples seek our marriage counseling:
After conversations about difficult topics, you realize there has been no resolution. In fact, you feel worse. This pattern eventually leads to you feeling anxious and depressed whenever you fear there is a conversation on the horizon, and you avoid them altogether when possible, meaning you talk even less. Ironically, you still manage to fight the same amount.
Problems with the In-Laws
Holidays are difficult because you are filled with anxiety about seeing your in-laws. Your spouse sides with them over you every time or pretends they do not hear their parents’ passive-aggressive comments toward you. The thought of seeing them, and the fight that will occur immediately afterwards, fills you with dread.
You feel contempt toward your partner. You think, “She is home all day, why is the house a mess all the time?” or “He must just be an idiot.” You mock your partner in your head, or worse, to them, or worse still, to the kids.
Increased Stress on the Children
This means they have become so acclimated to this atmosphere that another argument isn’t even novel to them. They will unconsciously be drawn to the same sort of dynamic, more likely than not, when it’s time for them to choose a mate.
No Longer Attracted to Each Other
Your spouse looks relatively similar to when you met, but you feel no physical excitement or even a pleasant desire to touch them when they are around. You wonder if this is due to age, hormones changing, or a pit of hatred in your stomach that roils around when you remember your list of resentments. Probably that last one.
Not in the way where you complement each other, but in the way where you shriek, “Why do I always have to be the bad guy?” or “Why can’t you just chill out, you’re going to make them anxious like you and your whole family.” Good times.
Boredom With Each Other
You go on date night and realize you don’t know about his work and don’t care. You don’t know what she talks about with her friends and don’t care. It’s so much effort to ask and pay attention that you might as well just talk about your child’s exposure to hand, foot and mouth disease at preschool.
person, and you don’t take their opinion to heart, probably ever if you’re honest with yourself. Or they feel and act this way about you.
Lost Passion in the Relationship
You love your partner, but something is just missing. You sighed with relief reading the nine previous entries, hoping I would not get to this one that describes more of what you feel. But I did. You don’t hate anything about your partner, but you don’t feel connected or close. You turn to best friends or your mom to share funny stories. You think about old boyfriends or girlfriends sometimes, or a lot. You know intellectually that your partner is a good person, but you’re Just Not Feeling It.
If any of the above issues are effecting your marital bliss, it may be time to check out a marital therapist who can help work through these issues with your mate.